"Life goes on! Who cares!" look. :)
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Day 926- Tuesday, August 17, 2016
Today was the 2nd day of my 18th year as an educator and I felt different. I love my profession and would not change it for the world! It is so crazy to see how time has flown. My son is a sophomore in college and my baby girl is going to the 7th grade. In my mind, I am still 24 years old. The only thing that reminds me that I am not is my growth and maturity and I still have a long way to go. In the last year, I have had people I love violate my trust with lies, infidelity, backstabbing, lifestyles I most certainly do not agree with (or was aware of), inconsideration, selfishness, and asking of me what they could not provide had I asked and certainly would not do anyhow. Just blatant levels of betrayal. Despite it all, life has went on. I have lived and survived. No matter the age, the lessons do not stop. Lately, I have been shielding myself from having to endure any MORE lessons but the reality is...what would life be without them? I have never been a person that has said that would never happen to me in any circumstance because I know that is not true. I know anything can happen to anyone. So with all the ups and downs, side to sides, and vertical rides life has provided me with I can only be thankful. Thankful to have endured, come out on top, and learn a lesson or two or three or four. I do not regret any of my life decisions (well one and that is only because if affected people I love dearly) because apparently I had to grow somehow. I would have to say this is my favorite decade of life by far because right now IDC and my primary concern is to be at peace. No more whys, what happened, why me! Who cares? Done with that and moving on. Thank you Father for your continued favor.
Thursday, August 11, 2016
No Matter the Day
I just took my son to the airport so he can begin his second year of college. I thought this year would be easier but panic and anxiety has set in again. I have a headache and I am nauseous. It's crazy how the body responds to your subconscious. I plead the blood of Jesus over he and his endeavors. For his safety and success, I pray daily. I just knew this time would be easier but I still broke down. I do not want him to feel bad or sorry for me so I tried to hold back but it happened anyway. Today we looked at old pictures, talked, ate tacos, and sat quietly with each other. I still see him as a three year old boy who was crazy about his mommy. As I left him at the airport, I saw a young man that had matured so much and is ready to set the world on fire. I miss him. I just miss his presence but I know he has to go. At least I know this is temporary.
Thursday, August 4, 2016
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